Digital Naive

Feb 20th, 2012 | Filed under Uncategorized

No, the title of this isn’t a typo, it is in fact an hilarious pun.

Julie Meyer, of BBC Question Time fame (who declined to get involved in one question because she couldn’t crowbar references to entrepreneurs and “digital natives” into an answer) has a blog, on which she posted the most outstanding/outrageous (delete as applicable) word mapping. It’s a sort of “how to copy and paste a press release into neoliberal propaganda” guide..

Anyway, as you might expect it’s awful awful awful, and I decided to store it someplace lest the original be removed. It was (though she neglected to change the URL stub, so you can see what it used to be – oops!). Sadly, in this new world of “digital natives”, it’s surely naive to imagine that you can just delete things from the Internet.

So I present, in all its foul glory, the Orwellian nightmare of “A New Lexicon”. Be afraid:

A New Lexicon
Do not say Say
austerity living within our means
welfare state something-for-nothing society
selfishness responsibility
investment (state) spending
free (state services) taxpayers’ money
greedy bankers greedy government
bailing out the banks politicians bailing out the banks
public sector big government
public services services
regulating nannying
regulations red tape
the rich people who have done well
accumulating wealth saving for later
broadest shoulders someone else
greed work
cuts bringing back to reasonable spending levels
fat cats entrepreneurs
wealth nest egg
key workers key voters
affordable housing subsidised housing
safety net state hammock
quantitative easing printing money
state created jobs private jobs taxed out of existence
people taxpayers
fair share of taxes excessive taxes
fairness reward for effort
redistribution punishing success
poverty is inequality poverty is absolute
fair trade free trade
he earns more than the PM he earns less than the PM if you  include the PM’s benefits
fair share I don’t know where to start to describe what’s wrong here.
public statist
progressive taxation disproportionate taxation
income inequality reward for effort
nantional insurance contribution tax on jobs
commercial what people want

And if you follow these simple rules, you too can convince yourself that funding a something-for-nothing society by punishing success through disproportionate taxation is an acceptable way of talking about using progressive measures to fund social good.

If you’ll excuse me, I need to go generate a bile surplus.

  1. Zaza
    Feb 23rd, 2012 at 23:46
    Reply | Quote | #1

    Hah can’t believe she deleted it. Upset the ‘digital natives’ have gone native and decided to hide the conch has she? Just watched that QT today, the woman sounds like someone talking about the internet in 1997.

    Yes in our brave new net age, no need for a physical job! You young ones with your computer-a-bobs, just do it online, everything is on the world wide web these days!Awesome!Let’s all ‘surf’ our way to a job!