No, the title of this isn’t a typo, it is in fact an hilarious pun.
Julie Meyer, of BBC Question Time fame (who declined to get involved in one question because she couldn’t crowbar references to entrepreneurs and “digital natives” into an answer) has a blog, on which she posted the most outstanding/outrageous (delete as applicable) word mapping. It’s a sort of “how to copy and paste a press release into neoliberal propaganda” guide..
Anyway, as you might expect it’s awful awful awful, and I decided to store it someplace lest the original be removed. It was (though she neglected to change the URL stub, so you can see what it used to be – oops!). Sadly, in this new world of “digital natives”, it’s surely naive to imagine that you can just delete things from the Internet.
So I present, in all its foul glory, the Orwellian nightmare of “A New Lexicon”. Be afraid:
|A New Lexicon|
|Do not say||Say|
|austerity||living within our means|
|welfare state||something-for-nothing society|
|free (state services)||taxpayers’ money|
|greedy bankers||greedy government|
|bailing out the banks||politicians bailing out the banks|
|public sector||big government|
|the rich||people who have done well|
|accumulating wealth||saving for later|
|broadest shoulders||someone else|
|cuts||bringing back to reasonable spending levels|
|key workers||key voters|
|affordable housing||subsidised housing|
|safety net||state hammock|
|quantitative easing||printing money|
|state created jobs||private jobs taxed out of existence|
|fair share of taxes||excessive taxes|
|fairness||reward for effort|
|poverty is inequality||poverty is absolute|
|fair trade||free trade|
|he earns more than the PM||he earns less than the PM if you include the PM’s benefits|
|fair share||I don’t know where to start to describe what’s wrong here.|
|progressive taxation||disproportionate taxation|
|income inequality||reward for effort|
|nantional insurance contribution||tax on jobs|
|commercial||what people want|
And if you follow these simple rules, you too can convince yourself that funding a something-for-nothing society by punishing success through disproportionate taxation is an acceptable way of talking about using progressive measures to fund social good.
If you’ll excuse me, I need to go generate a bile surplus.